


Haunt Me, Daddy

by Stardreamt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Conjuring (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 07:52:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18232046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardreamt/pseuds/Stardreamt
Summary: Melissa and Christopher are being haunted. They ask Ed and Lorraine Warren to help





	Haunt Me, Daddy

The night was getting spooky. Melissa McCall and Christ Argent were huddled closely on the couch in the center of the room. They’d gotten rid of all their other furniture because it all reminded Melissa of her son because it was ugly.   
“Sweet cheeks, I’m scared,” Melissa cried.  
A scream sounded that didn’t come from either of them.  
“Oh no,” Christ said, “I think we’ve angered it!”  
A spirit had been haunting the couple for eighteen days now. A box flew across the room.  
“How did that happen?! We don’t have anything but this couch!” Christ yelled.  
Melissa threw her arms in the air. “We got rid of everything because everything we owned was sat upon by Scronch!”  
More boxes appeared of thin air and spelled “ME” on the ground.  
“Me?!!?” the couple yelled in unison.  
“DIE!” a demonic voice called out.  
“I’m going to call the experts!” Melissa yelled, pulling her cell phone out from under her ten gallon hat. “Hello, yes, hello,” she said into the blackberry flip phone. “I’m being haunted, hurry to my house!” And she hung up. “They’re on their way.”

It was ten minutes later and Ed and Lorraine Warren were at the couple’s doorstep.  
“Thank you for coming,” Christ said, shaking their luscious hands.  
Ed nodded. “We love demons.”  
Lorraine nodded. “We love demons.”  
“You can investigate anywhere,” Melissa said.  
The demon couple walked to the bathroom.  
“Not there,” Melissa said.  
“What’s wrong with the bathroom?” Ed asked.  
“What’s wrong with the bathroom?” Lorraine asked.  
Melissa shrugged. “Poop.”  
Ed and Lorraine put their arms out and held their recording devices. “If there are any demons or spirits here, just shout into the void!” They said in unison.  
A soft voice from far away let out a scream.  
“Thank you!” Ed yelled.  
“Thank you!” Lorraine yelled.  
“Now tell us who you are!” They said in unison.  
“I AM SCOTT,” the disembodied voice yelled.  
Melissa gasped. “No, it can’t be. He’s been long dead.”  
“I DIED YESTERDAY,” the voice called.  
“Oh,” Melissa said. “I guess I just hoped you were long dead.”  
“I AM SCOTT,” the voice yelled again.  
“Please go away,” Christ said.  
Ed dropped his arms. “We will do an exorcism on the house.”  
Lorraine dropped her arms. “We will do an exorcism on the house.”  
They opened their mouths wide and started to sing a gregorian chant.  
“NO STOP!” Scott’s dead ghost yelled. “IT’S TOO MYSTERIOUS! STOP!”  
The gregorian chants only got louder, Melissa and Christ singing along to the melody, but using the words from Ice Ice Baby because it was the only song they knew.  
Scott yelled some more and eventually his disgusting voice was gone.  
“Thank you,” Melissa said. “You two are demon geniuses.”  
“We are. You’re welcome for our services,” Ed said and shook their hands.  
“We are. You’re welcome for our services,” Lorraine said and shook their hands.  
When the demon couple left, Melissa and Christ went to ikea to buy new furniture. They bought three futons and a piano bench. That’s all they needed aside from their love. Christ even called Allison and Ballpoint Pen to inform them that Scott’s gross, hideous, disgusting, horrendous, liquidus, ghost body was gone forever.


End file.
